A Tough Decision

I'm at a point in my path, a new fork in my twisting, turning, spiraling road.

Down the road to the right is a brighter future for my sanity.

The left leads to the same beliefs, techniques, my self as it is right now.

The choice is weighing on my shoulders, forcing me to crumble under the pressure.

Voices will echo around my only sanctuary, beckoning me back in.

I know I must choose; take risks or stay alone.

I must trust, or never feel loved ever again.

A wall keeps me from backing away from this decision.

The wall too high to climb, I must face my decision dead on.

How can I let people in?

How can I tell them what I think?

What I feel?

Tender heart, oh tender heart.

I sink to my knees and prepare to cry, my soul will spill, I'm truly alone.

Give me more time! More time, I plead!

Hands of loved ones are there to guide me home, strong and secure.

I search your eyes to see the lies, and I'm not sure what I see.

Damned curse, it tells me you lie, that trust is a mistake.

So sweet and tantalizing they seem, he says.

Heartbreak will come if you follow them, like a little lost lamb.

They are just wolves in sheepskin.

Smiles on the outside, snarling fangs inside.

Come home to me, safe in the darkness of my love.

You scream, I love you, please don't go.

It will get better, you will shine as bright as our sun.

He says, Do not listen darling.

I block the whirlwind of the voices, silence is golden.

Pieces of me seem to go missing, giant holes in my body.

My heart aches to get them back.

I reach for them blindly, darkness surrounds me for I dare not open my eyes.

If I do, I know I will have to face my choice.

I don't want to choose, for if I do I know I will regret it.

I want to be loved, I tell myself.

Just out of my reach I am forcing myself to look, for I need them.

Without them, I am broken.

I open my eyes to find my world split in half.

One side dark, the other light.

Night, day.

Death, life.

I must choose.