We are in Lux mode today! With all that's been going on in my life she has been working her butt off to make it seem like we're happy. Which I am very, very thankful. I mean with all this drama, hurt, and mean words that have been shared, it's hard to find someone to talk to who understands and will listen unconditionally.
Because I lost friends over this, sharing unhappy thoughts and feelings, I created Lux. With her I can be unhappy without my friends having to know or worry.
Becca; Are you ready?
Lux; (sits staring into the mirror) Mhm! I was born ready!
Becca; OK, let's go over some practice questions.. 'How are you?'
Lux; I'm good.
Becca; 'What's wrong?'
Lux; Hm? Oh nothing, just thinking.
Becca; (sighs) I really wish we could just tell the truth.
Lux; Tell me about it! I hate lying.
Becca; Only a little longer Lux..
Lux; Why can't we just-
Becca; No! You know what happened last time that happened. We let down our walls, we offered a peek into our mind and we had backs turned on us. They said we were too negative, and that is exactly when you came to be..
Lux; Ah, the dark times.. I remember.
Becca; I apologize for over working you these past weeks. With the things between Mom, Dad, and everyone else.. I know it's been hard.
Lux; It's okay, I understand why we can't let see what's really going on. If we do, they'll leave just like last time and then who do we have?
Becca; Suffer in silence.
Lux; But things will get better, I promise.
Becca; (smiles) I know. It always does.
Lux; (looks at the clock) Oh! Time for school.
Becca; Sometimes I swear your deserve an academy award!
Lux; An Oscar at least!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
A Heartbroken Dallas
I've known this guy since 7th grade, we'll call him George for now, and I've liked George on and off again since 10th grade. Anyways, I just find out a couple days ago that he doesn't even read my text messages. A huge blow to my egos and very embarrassing all together.
Dallas; (sets down the mascara) So.. you're saying this was all for nothing?
Blair; This is why we can't like anyone.. because if we do, we get hurt.
Dallas; But I thought he'd be different!
Becca; I know, I thought so too..
Blair; Who needs him? You are better off without the male species anyways!
Dallas; (still trying to understand the situation) Is it because of how I look? I mean I can't tell you how many times I dressed up and tried to impress him!
Blair; No! Don't you ever think it's because of how you look!
Becca; Then what is it?
Dallas; Yeah!
Blair; Well... I don't know exactly. And frankly I don't want to.
Becca; I do!
Blair; No, I can't let you get hurt. If you are hurt, everyone else is.
Becca; Why don't you want to know?
Blair; Because deep down I know that if I did know, I'd be more hurt. And yeah I made a total a** out of myself, but it's better than suffering.
Dallas; But I really liked him. And now all the make-up, the clothes, the hair... It was all for nothing. I mean I really liked him!
Becca; We know you did, we all did. But Blair is right, we put up these walls for a reason. We were idiots for letting them down, but we needed to learn.
Dallas; I hate this. I can't even look at him! I have to avoid running into him because it's all I think about! I'll analyze everything I say to him, and I'll worry about getting hurt! I don't want to look like an even bigger fool! I'm so embarrassed. It's like a bomb was dropped into my lap! All my hopes were crushed by that stupid explosion!
Blair; Don't worry, you'll have me to protect you.
Dallas; But it's not enough. I just want to wear sweats and throw my hair up everyday now, what's the point in trying to impress someone who can't be impressed? And since he's not going to change his mind, what's the point? I want to hibernate until the end of the semester.. Maybe then everything will be okay.
Becca; You can't hibernate, I know it seems like an amazing idea right now.. But just wait. Some hotter guy will stroll around and you will forget all about George.
Dallas; No. I'm just going to go with my plan. Not trying to impress anyone anymore.
Blair; Well, at least we won't get hurt.
Becca; OK, but you will totally regret it. Now, let's just focus on school and our friends for awhile. No boys. Deal?
Blair; Deal!
Dallas; (shoving all make-up into a lock box) Fine.
Dallas; (sets down the mascara) So.. you're saying this was all for nothing?
Blair; This is why we can't like anyone.. because if we do, we get hurt.
Dallas; But I thought he'd be different!
Becca; I know, I thought so too..
Blair; Who needs him? You are better off without the male species anyways!
Dallas; (still trying to understand the situation) Is it because of how I look? I mean I can't tell you how many times I dressed up and tried to impress him!
Blair; No! Don't you ever think it's because of how you look!
Becca; Then what is it?
Dallas; Yeah!
Blair; Well... I don't know exactly. And frankly I don't want to.
Becca; I do!
Blair; No, I can't let you get hurt. If you are hurt, everyone else is.
Becca; Why don't you want to know?
Blair; Because deep down I know that if I did know, I'd be more hurt. And yeah I made a total a** out of myself, but it's better than suffering.
Dallas; But I really liked him. And now all the make-up, the clothes, the hair... It was all for nothing. I mean I really liked him!
Becca; We know you did, we all did. But Blair is right, we put up these walls for a reason. We were idiots for letting them down, but we needed to learn.
Dallas; I hate this. I can't even look at him! I have to avoid running into him because it's all I think about! I'll analyze everything I say to him, and I'll worry about getting hurt! I don't want to look like an even bigger fool! I'm so embarrassed. It's like a bomb was dropped into my lap! All my hopes were crushed by that stupid explosion!
Blair; Don't worry, you'll have me to protect you.
Dallas; But it's not enough. I just want to wear sweats and throw my hair up everyday now, what's the point in trying to impress someone who can't be impressed? And since he's not going to change his mind, what's the point? I want to hibernate until the end of the semester.. Maybe then everything will be okay.
Becca; You can't hibernate, I know it seems like an amazing idea right now.. But just wait. Some hotter guy will stroll around and you will forget all about George.
Dallas; No. I'm just going to go with my plan. Not trying to impress anyone anymore.
Blair; Well, at least we won't get hurt.
Becca; OK, but you will totally regret it. Now, let's just focus on school and our friends for awhile. No boys. Deal?
Blair; Deal!
Dallas; (shoving all make-up into a lock box) Fine.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Meet the Egos!
Hello Bloggers!
It's the time you've all been waiting for! It's time to meet the Egos!
Basically they are here to do the things I'm too scared to do, they say things I won't, and they will be proactive instead of reactive. Sometimes they can be evil, sometimes they can be nice, but whatever they are, they are just more extreme versions of me.
So here they are:
Blair - the defender: she is the witty, comeback savvy, don't mess with me ego. She is my defense mechanism, my go-to for comebacks during fights. She is my guard against hurt and pain. She is the main General of my ego army!
Dallas - the seducer: she really only comes out when I'm dealing with boys. Usually I'm a bumbling fool and tongue-tied around the male species, but Dallas is charming, lovable, confident, and irresistible. She's the girly-girl that I will never be, she always looks her best and is confident even when she is not.
Apollo - the fighter: don't mess with her. She is tough as nails, she won't let anyone take advantage of her, and if someone has a problem with her - tough. When I'm dealing with people I don't like or am fighting with, she is my go-to.
Lux - the cover: lux means light, and that is what she is. She is the light ego, she is present when I am low and don't want my friends to take notice. She's happy, fun, and bright when I'm not. She is my mask for depression. I can always count on her to put on a good front, and she never lets me down.
This should be an interesting semester...
Until next time,
B
It's the time you've all been waiting for! It's time to meet the Egos!
Basically they are here to do the things I'm too scared to do, they say things I won't, and they will be proactive instead of reactive. Sometimes they can be evil, sometimes they can be nice, but whatever they are, they are just more extreme versions of me.
So here they are:
Blair - the defender: she is the witty, comeback savvy, don't mess with me ego. She is my defense mechanism, my go-to for comebacks during fights. She is my guard against hurt and pain. She is the main General of my ego army!
Dallas - the seducer: she really only comes out when I'm dealing with boys. Usually I'm a bumbling fool and tongue-tied around the male species, but Dallas is charming, lovable, confident, and irresistible. She's the girly-girl that I will never be, she always looks her best and is confident even when she is not.
Apollo - the fighter: don't mess with her. She is tough as nails, she won't let anyone take advantage of her, and if someone has a problem with her - tough. When I'm dealing with people I don't like or am fighting with, she is my go-to.
Lux - the cover: lux means light, and that is what she is. She is the light ego, she is present when I am low and don't want my friends to take notice. She's happy, fun, and bright when I'm not. She is my mask for depression. I can always count on her to put on a good front, and she never lets me down.
This should be an interesting semester...
Until next time,
B
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Craziness That WILL Ensue
Greetings to the blogging world! This is my first ever encounter with blogging, and let me tell you, I'm excited!
If you are wondering why on earth the title of my blog is about "My Alter Ego", it's because when I blog I'm not only going to just be thinking like myself, but as my alter ego as well. I have a couple alter egos that are going to be present throughout the semester, and they are very eager to give their opinions!
I have these alter egos for many reasons. One is because I like to use them in my writing, it's easy to relate to my story if my characters relate to me. (Some people could think that it's selfish or conceited, but it's a smart idea I think). Two is because they come in handy with dealing things I don't want to deal with, like drama for instance. And three, because they can say what I am too scared to say.
So dear bloggers, beware.
The things in my mind aren't always pretty.. But they are funny!
Love,
B
If you are wondering why on earth the title of my blog is about "My Alter Ego", it's because when I blog I'm not only going to just be thinking like myself, but as my alter ego as well. I have a couple alter egos that are going to be present throughout the semester, and they are very eager to give their opinions!
I have these alter egos for many reasons. One is because I like to use them in my writing, it's easy to relate to my story if my characters relate to me. (Some people could think that it's selfish or conceited, but it's a smart idea I think). Two is because they come in handy with dealing things I don't want to deal with, like drama for instance. And three, because they can say what I am too scared to say.
So dear bloggers, beware.
The things in my mind aren't always pretty.. But they are funny!
Love,
B
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