Pretty WILD

Anger brings out the beast (Apollo) in me. And I'm not kidding! Once I was so angry I ripped the handle off the back door. I also used to beat up on my little sisters and I didn't know my own strength. So a lot of things had been angering me lately and I've been avoiding talking about it just 'cause I usually lash out at anyone who happens to be in my way.. Sad, I know.

So I'm here today to tell you a few warning signs to let you know when the fangs are about to come out! Good luck.

Bold = things that happen that only I can feel!

WARNING SIGNS, BEWARE;
1.) I jut my jaw out and clench! So it looks like I have a massive under bite, but I don't...
2.) My palms get sweaty
3.) I walk fast in the halls. Honestly I look like I'm on a mission and that I could mow you down if you get in my way.
4.) My chest tightens. It feels like there are iron vises crushing my ribs in, but at the same time there are big meat hooks pulling them out. Painful? Yes.
5.) My arms feel like if I don't move them they are going to lock in place. The urge to hit something or someone is so strong that I have to do something productive in order for the feeling to go away.
6.) I swear... Like a sailor... or a rapper... Depends on the degree of my mood.
7.) My thoughts travel at the speed of light.. Which if you don't know is : 299 792 458 m / s.. Wow that's fast B! I know.. Believe me.
8.) I avoid all physical contact. There is a better chance that I will lash out at you if you get too close.
9.) If a thought occurs and I linger on that thought for too long I believe what ever happened in that thought actually happened.. and my mood goes from worse to "GET THE F OUT OF MY WAY NOW!"
10.) I fidget.. Probably the most impossible thing to do when I am angry is sit still.
11.) I become quiet. Not the oh I am just thinking quiet.. but the I am silently plotting your destruction.. go away quiet.
12.) I walk away from people. I want to be alone so I can cool down. I don't want you to follow, just stay and wait until I am OK..
13.) I play with my hair, it's a self-soothing technique that I have no control over. But playing with hair is an everyday thing, how do we know when you are angry? Well my dear blogger, its like this.. If you are trying to talk to me and I don't look up at you while I'm playing with my hair.. I'm PISSED. Or if I am "searching for split ends"... *whistles*
14.) **ONLY IN EXTREME CASES** I shake. Uncontrollably.

Now I don't give you these warning symptoms so you can avoid me at all costs every day.. just on the bad ones. I try not to be angry because I know there is no use in fighting any more. And I hate yelling.. It has something to do with how f-ed up my childhood was and how I witnessed so much yelling.. but that is not the point. The point is that if I yell I am truly offended/hurt/pissed/scared.

I hate confrontations! I won't talk to you about it... But if it means a lot to me I will.. WILL.. Confront you.. If I do, you know YOU did something wrong..

So continue you at your own risk if I am mad and you see that.
The outcome won't be pretty.

SCREW YOU OLD MAN

Perfect opportunity for Blair to make herself known to other people. But of course I got in the way because I wanted to be respectful, and not talk back to my elders. But no, it's been churning in my head and it downright pisses me the F off!

I may be the best driver in my whole family. No, I AM the best. I am cautious and make sure I am a considerate driver. I think about the other person's feelings before I actually act. My mom jokingly nicknamed me a "grandma driver". I laugh and say it's always better to be cautious than get into an accident.

So today I decide against all my rules, I'm running late I don't have time to be cautious.. I'm literally like five blocks from school.. I'll be a little reckless. So I am coming up to the turn which I take to take me directly to the school. There is a white car next to me and there is a good 70 meters till the turn, I speed up make sure there is a good distance between me and the car.

Good Distance = I'm not going to hit you if I accidentally swerve or something. And you don't have to haul on your brakes to avoid hitting me.

So I keep going and the white car follows me, I think nothing of it. Tons of kids take this route to school, I can think of about ten friends of mine who take it.. No big deal right? The fishy-ness starts when I pull into the parking spot and the white car is STILL behind me, parked this time. Windshield wipers stopped in the center of the window.

This guy must be in a hurry to get to class too right?

WRONG.

I turn off the car just in time to catch this.

"What driving school did you go to?"

Exsqueeze me? What did I do wrong?

"You cut me off back there!"

This old man, maybe 80+ years, comes raging towards my driver's side door. He's yelling about how I cut him off and how I'm going to cause accidents if I don't shapen up!

I'll let Blair take it from here.

Excuse me, excuuuuuuuuse me. You are not my grandfather NOR my father, you have no right to tell me how to drive! And, no, I did not CUT YOU OFF, I passed you. There was a good 20-30 feet in between our two somewhat crappy cars!

Did I hit you? Did you have to slam on your brakes to avoiding hitting me?

No you didn't!

And don't you DARE tell me I'm a bad driver for the ONE mistake I made. You don't know me, you don't know my record of driving. I have no tickets, haven't gotten in ANY accidents.

"How many years have you had your license?"

"Two years..."

"Three years? Well then you have not have learned!"

Listen to what I'm saying old man! I've had my license for TWO years... TWO! And don't talk to me like you know me. You are obviously senile and don't know what's going on! You keep repeating yourself.. what driving school did I go to? None of your damn business.

This is why I hate old people. Besides the downright creepy-ness of them, they are senile can't remember a damned thing and they drive like bats outta hell themselves! They drive under the speed limit.. Frankly, they are HORRIBLE drivers and should have their license taken away after the age of 80.

So the guy keeps coming at us like we're the worst driver in the whole world. And honestly I am ready to pounce on this guy because really I don't see what we did wrong.. But Becca decided to listen to this guy. Because that's the weakling she is. F Becca!

Screw being respectful right now, this guy had no right to criticize our driving.

Thank you, Blair.

This puts a damper on my mood for the whole day. I don't want to be a "bad driver". I want to be a good driver who does everything with complete and utter care! So screw you old man, my middle finger goes out to you.