Pretty WILD

Anger brings out the beast (Apollo) in me. And I'm not kidding! Once I was so angry I ripped the handle off the back door. I also used to beat up on my little sisters and I didn't know my own strength. So a lot of things had been angering me lately and I've been avoiding talking about it just 'cause I usually lash out at anyone who happens to be in my way.. Sad, I know.

So I'm here today to tell you a few warning signs to let you know when the fangs are about to come out! Good luck.

Bold = things that happen that only I can feel!

WARNING SIGNS, BEWARE;
1.) I jut my jaw out and clench! So it looks like I have a massive under bite, but I don't...
2.) My palms get sweaty
3.) I walk fast in the halls. Honestly I look like I'm on a mission and that I could mow you down if you get in my way.
4.) My chest tightens. It feels like there are iron vises crushing my ribs in, but at the same time there are big meat hooks pulling them out. Painful? Yes.
5.) My arms feel like if I don't move them they are going to lock in place. The urge to hit something or someone is so strong that I have to do something productive in order for the feeling to go away.
6.) I swear... Like a sailor... or a rapper... Depends on the degree of my mood.
7.) My thoughts travel at the speed of light.. Which if you don't know is : 299 792 458 m / s.. Wow that's fast B! I know.. Believe me.
8.) I avoid all physical contact. There is a better chance that I will lash out at you if you get too close.
9.) If a thought occurs and I linger on that thought for too long I believe what ever happened in that thought actually happened.. and my mood goes from worse to "GET THE F OUT OF MY WAY NOW!"
10.) I fidget.. Probably the most impossible thing to do when I am angry is sit still.
11.) I become quiet. Not the oh I am just thinking quiet.. but the I am silently plotting your destruction.. go away quiet.
12.) I walk away from people. I want to be alone so I can cool down. I don't want you to follow, just stay and wait until I am OK..
13.) I play with my hair, it's a self-soothing technique that I have no control over. But playing with hair is an everyday thing, how do we know when you are angry? Well my dear blogger, its like this.. If you are trying to talk to me and I don't look up at you while I'm playing with my hair.. I'm PISSED. Or if I am "searching for split ends"... *whistles*
14.) **ONLY IN EXTREME CASES** I shake. Uncontrollably.

Now I don't give you these warning symptoms so you can avoid me at all costs every day.. just on the bad ones. I try not to be angry because I know there is no use in fighting any more. And I hate yelling.. It has something to do with how f-ed up my childhood was and how I witnessed so much yelling.. but that is not the point. The point is that if I yell I am truly offended/hurt/pissed/scared.

I hate confrontations! I won't talk to you about it... But if it means a lot to me I will.. WILL.. Confront you.. If I do, you know YOU did something wrong..

So continue you at your own risk if I am mad and you see that.
The outcome won't be pretty.